With the development of the Internet, it provides us with a lot of conveniences for flirting with girls and chasing boyfriends and girlfriends, especially for some otakus who don’t like to go out and are willing to stay at home. It is a very good choice.
However, convenience is convenience, but it also triggers a lot of thinking for us? It seems that this convenience does not bring us much benefit. Those who should not flirt still can’t flirt, and even more often may make us fall into traps, causing us double losses in spirit and money.
So I am thinking about this article today, and how to flirt with girls and how to avoid pitfalls in dating software? Although this article is a little late, it will not be too late, because as long as the dating software exists, online dating will exist.
I will analyze it one by one from three aspects: what kind of people are in the dating software, our positioning, and feasible methods.
What kind of people are in the dating software? I will use my personal example to illustrate.
Let me first talk about my personal understanding of dating software.
In my opinion, dating apps are very convenient. At least for a large number of people who dare not approach people directly on the street, it is a good choice. They will not be directly exposed to the opposite sex, which will cause great pressure on their hearts and worry about not performing well here or there.
You can give yourself enough time to think, give yourself space to play freely, and allow yourself to do things that you dare not do in your daily life and say things that you dare not say in your daily life. For example: If you tell a girl that you love her, you don’t need to think, and you don’t have to be afraid of rejection and lose face.
Of course, illegal things, personal attacks, rumors, and rumor spreading are excluded. I would like to thank the platform for providing these dating apps. I really appreciate it.
In fact, I am also the type of person who is late to the game when it comes to dating apps. In ordinary terms, I started playing after others played it badly.
Take MoTan and MoMo as examples. I basically entered them two or three years after they appeared. Their more typical characteristics are that they are more mature, and maturity also means that they are ripe, which is equivalent to deviating from the original nature of dating.
I personally tried to enter as a male character. I am lazy and don’t upload a lot of fake things (luxury cars, luxury houses, five-star hotels) that are like streaking. I went to say hello to girls, but basically no one responded. But after I didn’t say hello, many girls took the initiative to say hello to me, not only sending me messages, but also sending me videos.
Yes, that’s right. These girls who took the initiative to say hello to me were all short-term love stories of hundreds to thousands. I naturally ignored them. It’s not that I am noble, but I am afraid of bird flu.
Later, I changed my mind and entered as a girl. With the consent of my female friends, I uploaded a few photos of her. My idea is very simple, to understand the male psychology.
As expected, at least dozens of men will send me messages in one night. Some are quite normal, calling you a beauty and asking if you want to have supper together. Most of the rest are psychologically twisted. Some will directly ask how much money? Where to meet, ask to add WeChat, and some are even more excessive, directly sending the third leg to show the so-called masculinity?
I had no choice but to uninstall it the next day. Because MoTan and MoMo are more inclined to short-term love stories of a few hundred yuan and battlefields for some psychologically twisted people to show their prowess, which is not suitable for simple friendship and developing boyfriends and girlfriends.
Later, I switched to MoS and finally found a relatively pure “pure land”.
It is also the dating software I mainly talk about today.
Starting from 2019, I will talk about the people I met on it one by one.
In April, I met a girl who likes classical poetry, and it just so happens that I have some basic knowledge in this area. At that time, I greeted her, and she sent me a poem, and I replied to her, which can also be understood as a poetry battle. We sent each other about a dozen times and established initial trust.
I teased her and said, do you want to see the stars?
She said yes, so we added each other on WeChat. Then I showed her the stars, and we often competed with each other in poetry for a period of time. During the poetry battle, I learned that she was a kindergarten teacher, and we occasionally compete with each other until now.
My feeling is that this type of girl tends to be literary, has a relatively monotonous life, is relatively simple, faces children every day, is more eager to communicate with people of similar age and older people, and is full of curiosity about many things. They need more from dating apps to satisfy their curiosity and release their pressure.
I uninstalled a certain app for a while because of something, and downloaded it again in October, and met a girl, a woman.
At first, I felt that I could talk to this girl, but I felt something was wrong after talking a little more. She said that she had a quarrel with her family and ran away. She was very pitiful and had no money to eat. She asked me to borrow money. The money was not much, two hundred yuan, and of course I didn’t lend it.
I can be sure that she is not a liar, but I have no obligation to help her. More importantly, I found that there are big problems with her personality. After chatting for two days, I stopped chatting.
Most of these girls have certain defects in their personalities. They lack sufficient recognition and expression in their daily lives, so they tend to express themselves and vent themselves on dating apps. What they need more is a listener, hoping that someone can recognize and pay attention to them.
The woman came to Xiamen for a trip. She was very proactive and took the initiative to say hello to me. Since I happened to be in Xiamen and had nothing to do, I simply made an appointment to meet, had a meal, and then served as a half-day tour guide for free. I waved and said goodbye.
During the tour guide process, I learned that she was a divorced woman. As for the reason for the divorce, it is not important and is not within the scope of our discussion.
This type of woman is generally more proactive, or very proactive. On dating apps, what they need is short-term emotional sustenance to fill the emotional needs that are missing in their hearts. To put it simply, they need someone to accompany them. If you are not too bad or meet the other person’s wishes, they don’t mind having a one-night stand with you, but it is limited to one-night stands.
In November, I chatted with a girl who was very proactive, enthusiastic, and intimate, which made it easy for people to mistakenly think that love has come. I was in Xiamen and she was in Hainan Island. In her words, I would come to see you no matter how far away you are. Of course, there must be something wrong. Within three days, she recommended to me a good way to make a fortune by charging 200 yuan to a lottery and earning 2,000 yuan.
I was willing to cooperate. I asked her to help me charge 200 yuan first, and then give her 1,500 yuan after earning. I only wanted 500 yuan. She refused, and the matter ended.
This kind of girl is undoubtedly a liar. It is possible that the person behind her is not a girl, but a big man with a shaggy foot. After all, there is a saying that men know men better.
In December, to be precise, the time should be pushed back two months, that is, I met this girl in October. We chatted for two months. If I didn’t take the initiative, she would definitely not take the initiative. We never added WeChat from beginning to end.
Every day I told her that I raised a lot of small goldfish (I did raise a lot of small goldfish) and when I raised the small goldfish, I would invite you to come and stew the small goldfish for you to eat.
Of course, I didn’t wait until the little goldfish grew up before I asked her to go to the B&B, because I live in the B&B and I’m familiar with the owner and can cook there.
I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, and she came over. Unfortunately, I was in a hurry that day, and my three-star cooking skills dropped directly to no star, and I was very dissatisfied with the meal. I made up for it with a barbecue in the evening.
This type of girl is generally a foodie. As long as your cooking skills are good enough, or you are a food expert, you can basically be ordinary. Unfortunately, I didn’t perform well that day and messed up.
The above are all counterexamples. Although they are counterexamples, they are played all the time and have extremely high reference value. We can further screen through these counterexamples, which saves us time and increases the quality and possibility of our friendship.
Let’s continue to give a positive example.
This type of girl can basically be regarded as relatively simple, and her life is relatively simple. She is relatively ordinary in daily life, but her personality is basically fine, and she will not be a liar. Some of them are on dating apps with the intention of meeting someone they can chat with, and if possible, they don’t mind developing into boyfriends and girlfriends. Some of them are just out of curiosity, and they may become friends or boyfriends, or they may just pass by. They chat with you without much purpose, based on equal status. Whether you can meet or not depends on fate and luck.
My current girlfriend is one of them.
The summary of this part is that you will meet all kinds of people on dating apps, some of whom are normal, and some are weird, and you need to pay more attention and know how to distinguish.
Next, let’s talk about our positioning.
What is positioning? It’s very simple, it’s the life persona in our daily life, the dating persona you appear in your dating app.
It is a very important thing, because the range of choices people have on the Internet is too wide, and a large number of opposite sexes are recommended every day.
Basically, it is possible to swipe over a dozen or dozens of people within a minute, and there is no extra time to get to know too much about one person. So we need to set our personality and give girls a visual impact at first sight, otherwise it is basically no use.
Note that what I am talking about is based on the premise of real friendship. Fake socialites and fake rich second-generations are not included in this scope.
We can start with three aspects: name, signature, and dynamics.
You can set the name to make people shine. It doesn’t have to be too rigid. You can use English and some symbols, but it must be different. Even a little old-fashioned, as long as you can be different.
It is best to be between two and five words, not too long. Too long will make people forget and look childish.
For example, if others set it as: The king comes to patrol the mountain, you can set it as I am a mountain.
If others set it as: Whale Fall, you should not set it as: Sand Sculpture, you should set it as: All Things Grow.
Of course, the specific setting can be based on your own style, don’t copy it rigidly.
Signature, generally we call signature a personalized signature. In fact, personality refers to your personal label and positioning.
Therefore, you can be a little exaggerated in the name, but the signature must be consistent with your own label and positioning. Labels and positioning can be understood as what kind of person you are, what kind of personality you have, what you do, and where you come from. You can choose one or more of them.
For example, my signature is: dating expert, commonly known as the new generation of matchmaker who replaced the red line with steel bars.
Do you understand? Take this as an example, it can reflect what you do, so that others have a preliminary impression of you, and then it will not be so boring and rigid, but a little relaxed and interesting.
The name and signature can only make others notice you at first sight. As for whether there will be a second look after the first glance, it depends on your dynamics.
In theory, what dynamics you post, even if you forward something, can basically further judge what kind of person you are, whether it can arouse my interest and curiosity?
For example, if you forward hot news on the dynamics every day, the type of bravery will give people the impression that you are very loving and positive, and the type of revenge killing will give people the impression that your heart is very dark.
So, what should we do? I have always emphasized that we need to show our true selves, but it also needs to be modified to a certain extent.
For example, if you are a young literary man who likes to read books and likes to post the books you read, it is better to find a milk tea shop or coffee shop in the afternoon, take a photo of milk tea or coffee, and then post it, rather than just opening the book or taking a photo of the cover.
If you like to raise a dog and post the dog in a dynamic, it is better to take the dog to the beach or the grass in the park and then post it, rather than putting the dog in a cage.
The summary here is to first figure out yourself, build your own personality, and then actively show yourself. Pay attention to the frequency of showing. It is better to post every day than every three or five days. The category should not be too single, and of course, it should not be too long-winded.
A feasible method.
We need to understand a concept first. Emotional matters are not what we want. What this means is that we don’t need to be overly superstitious about so-called pick-up masters. They seem to make you feel very powerful, but in fact, it doesn’t mean that they can get any girl. It’s just that they will expand the range of choices and increase the success rate as much as possible, which will make us feel that they are very powerful.
They are indeed very powerful, because they know one thing very well.
Expand the range of choices.
It’s the same in dating apps. If you say hello to 100 girls, it’s normal for 50 of them to reply to you, it’s normal for 20 girls to be willing to chat with you for a few more days, it’s normal for 10 girls to develop into friends with you, it’s normal for 5 girls to become good friends with you, and it’s even more normal for one girl to become your girlfriend in the end.
Do you understand? Suppose you say hello to 100 girls and all of them become friends with you, you are either a god, or they are a group of people who are trying to deceive you.
Isn’t what we do to select the people who can really match our souls from the vast sea of people?
This is the first step, which is to greet girls as much as possible. Don’t say you don’t have time. One or two hours a day is enough. Those who choose dating apps will not miss this time.
Step 2: Don’t be fooled by appearances. It means that girls will try their best to show themselves actively in the dynamics, and the most are their own selfies. These selfies are likely to be very watery. They are four or five points in themselves, and can be beautified to eight or nine points. So we should not let ourselves be moved just because we see the dynamic photos of girls. This is wrong.
You can look at her text description. The text description is exactly the most real reflection of a person’s inner state. If the other party’s text description is very ordinary, then you can rest assured. If the other party’s text description is exaggerated, hypocritical, and sickly, it is recommended to say hello directly and leave. Even if you and her may regret it in the future, they basically have a bad temper, unclear self-awareness, and princess syndrome.
Step 3: Maybe the opening remarks are very important in our inherent impression? To some extent, it is true. A good opening statement can indeed change a lot of things, but not completely. For a better understanding, I will give examples of several common opening statements.
Opening statement without attention: Today’s weather is very good/It rained today, it was gray/The sun is so big, it’s so hot.
Describing objective phenomena, not pointing to each other, the advantage is that there is no pressure and it is very relaxing.
Feeling-based opening statement: It rained today, I miss the days when it rained in school.
Describing objective phenomena and mentioning your own feelings, the advantage is that it is easy to arouse the other party’s curiosity, but the disadvantage is that the other party hates rain and will ignore you.
Direct attention opening statement: Hi, what are you doing?
Directly pointing to the other party, the advantage is that it is straightforward and saves time, but the disadvantage is that it is too simple.
Indirect opening statement: Hi, I just came back from a business trip, how about you?
Describing what you do and paying attention to what the other party does is slightly better.
Choose according to your own habits.
Step 4: Communication. If you send a message more than three times and the other party does not reply, it is recommended that you contact
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